Commentary by Danielle Pelkey

The North Jefferson News



As we say goodbye to this year’s Mother’s Day, I wanted to look back over the different stages of being a mom and what it means to be a mother.

There is the pregnancy stage, filled with anticipation, worry, concern, excitement and encouragement. Everyone around you is constantly telling you how good you will be at becoming a mom. This gives most women a false sense of security in the mothering ways, which will lead us to the next stage of motherhood — newborns.

When you are the mother of a newborn baby, nothing is normal. The way they cry, the way they act and even the color of their poop will scare you. It is such an overwhelming time and you usually have to survive on about two hours of sleep per night. Your life is turned completely upside down and you really feel like no one knows how you feel.

Then things change again. Your child becomes a toddler and then they are off to kindergarten. This is when your baby develops their personalities and attitudes. This is when you feel like you spank them all day long, and to no avail.

I have not experienced any levels past this one, so I’m only going by what I see for the next few stages.

I then see the pre-teen and teenage years. I dread these more than any other stage. I’ve heard that making a teenager mind is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree, and I believe it. I can remember my teen years and I don’t wish that attitude on anyone. I’m sure that parents wanted to pull every strand of hair out of their heads during this stage.

I have often said that I was going to keep Raygan in a cage from the ages of eight to 22. That’s about the time they become human again.

After the teenage years there are the college years. Many mother’s hearts are broken during these years too, but thankfully this stage only lasts a few years.

After this stage, I think things tend to get a little easier. Usually the kids settle down, get married and then the best stage yet — grandma.

I really am excited to one day be a grandparent. I see how much my parents enjoy this stuff and I can’t wait to join in. I’ve heard lots of grandparents say they only had the kids to get the grandchildren.

At this stage, you spoil your grandchildren completely, fill them with words of wisdom and encouragement, feed them tons of sugar and send them home to mommy and daddy.

Another thing grandparents do during this stage is encourage the parents. Although I’m sure they just want to repeat, “I told you so” over and over again, they tend to let that go. My parents have been a huge help to me during my parenting years, so far, and I know they will continue to help me steer clear of more stupid mistakes.

So, wherever you are on this roller coaster of motherhood, thank you for what you do and please keep up the good work.