Sorry, Auburn fans: This one’s all about the Tide.

We Americans in SEC country take for granted that no sport’s bigger than football, as anyone in their right mind ‘round these parts should just instinctively know. But if you happened to be born half a world away, cultivating an appreciation for the Pistol formation and the Process comes with a steep, steep learning curve.

Alabama fans know plenty about that kind of thing — not to mention the spectacular, lore-steeped tradition that Crimson Tide football enshrines. But they’d still swap places in an instant with a group of local football newbies who scored sweet skybox seats to last week’s season opener against Utah State at Bryant-Denny Stadium. After all, no one in this group had the foggiest idea of the on-field action and stadium theatrics that lay in store.

That’s because none of them had ever been to an American college football game — and most of them hadn’t even seen one on TV. But thanks to the generosity of St. Bernard alum (and ‘Bama ticket holder) Robert Blevins, a gaggle of nearly 20 current international students residing at the prep school got a firsthand crash course in Crimson Tide culture, enjoying the view from the stadium’s highest reaches as ‘Bama hammered the Aggies 55-0.

Did Tuscaloosa’s game day atmosphere turn this team of (mostly) soccer fans into instant Nick Saban acolytes? Well, that all depends on how you define it. “I tried to watch, but I didn’t understand anything,” confessed Finland native Nuutti Smolander. “But the food — the food was very good!”

Call it a win for Bryant-Denny hospitality, then. But the play clock, incomplete passes, first downs, time outs, and penalties all conspired to befuddle even the most committed among this huddle of budding ‘Bama fans.

“For me, at least, I got the impression that they were fighting,” said Brazil native Arfaela Galhumi, who gave her spectator’s role her best Hail Mary. ”And then they’d stop playing like every five minutes — and I wouldn’t know what was happening!”

A certain subset of Auburn grads loves to point out that not everyone amid the nation’s ocean of ‘Bama fans seems to know what’s really going on at their adopted university — or, perhaps, even on the field. But they’d be hard pressed to weaponize that measure of good-natured antagonism against these kids — a group that included four Brazilians, six Spaniards, plus one student apiece from Finland, Austria, and China.

Why? Because despite their confusion, the group came away from their SEC encounter fully aware that they’d witnessed something special: something uniquely American, something uniquely southern, and, quite literally, something uniquely Alabamian.

“We’re in Alabama, and we’re going to be here for months. So I feel like we should be [supportive],” said Barbara Angeler, a St. Bernard sophomore by way of Austria. “I’d heard that Alabama is, like, a really good team — and they really obviously showed that in the game. You could see from being there that they really know how to play; you could see that they’re really a ‘team.’”

That’s more than just fan service. By the time the day was done, Angeler had amassed just enough football knowledge to deter even Saban himself from turf-tossing his straw hat in disgust.

“I feel like I’d ‘get’ it, then you’d think about it, and then you’d see the process of it,” she said, inadvertently invoking one of the GOAT’s favorite phrases. “By the end, I kind of understood the goal and everything, and like — there are ‘downs’? Like, three? Or four of them?”

On second thought … Look out, straw hat — maybe we spoke too soon.