Breastfeeding mom’s response to shaming incident goes viral

Published 11:15 am Tuesday, June 2, 2015

A photo taken of Conner Kendall breastfeeding her 4-month-old son at an Indiana restaurant prompted a scathing response that has gone viral and drawn widespread support.

TERRE HAUTE, Ind. — A mother who breastfed her child at an Indiana restaurant has gained international support — and media attention — after a man secretly took her picture while she was breastfeeding, posted it on social media and criticized her.

Conner Kendall was breastfeeding her 4-month-old son while dining at TGI Friday’s in Terre Haute last week when the incident occurred. The unidentified man posted a picture and wrote the following on Facebook:

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“OK moms out there..I know when a baby is [hungry] they need fed. I [want] to know if this is appropriate or inappropriate as I’m trying to eat … there are little kids around. I understand feeding in public but could you at least cover your boob up?! Your input is needed!”

When Kendall learned what had happened, she sent the man a private message and also posted the open letter on Facebook, which reads in part:

“Dear Mr. (Name removed, because I’m not bashing like I was bashed),

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“I just wanted to let you know that I am the mother who was breastfeeding my son at TGI Fridays. I am also the woman that you felt the need to take a picture of while I was doing so. Then proceed to post said picture on social media in a shameful manner. As I was admiring how adorable your daughter was, you were posting pictures of me on Facebook and Instagram.

“While I in no way, shape, or form owe you any explanation I would like to clarify a few things. I did nothing wrong, I turned away to latch my son and pulled my shirt back up when he was finished out of respect for others in the restaurant. I do not use a cover, because my son fights them, screams, and doesn’t eat at all while under them. If he had been screaming because he was hungry then I would be a bad mom for not feeding my hungry child. I did not pump before leaving home, A-because my son does not like to take a bottle and B-because it is my right to feed him any way I see fit wherever I see fit.”

Kendall went on to say that the man’s photo had given her an opportunity to advocate for breastfeeding mothers. She wrote that she knows all the facts about breastfeeding “and I know what I am doing is best for my child. I chose to do it not only because it’s rewarding, but because it is what is best for them. I am resolved, not only in my choice to breastfeed my child, but to do it whenever and wherever I want.”

She signed the post, “sincerely, The AMAZING mommy you photographed nursing her beautiful child.”

What happened has gone viral, and the story has appeared in online publications across the country and overseas; Kendall was interviewed Monday by “Good Morning America” as well as People.com. She has received email support from people around the world (London, Philippines, Puerto Rico, Canada), and her Facebook post with the letter had been shared more than 82,000 times as of Tuesday morning. 

She told People.com that the response has been “absolutely wonderful,” and about 90 percent positive.

The man, whose name she did not reveal, “responded with a very short and, what seemed to me, a very insincere apology in a private message,” she wrote on Facebook.

TGI Friday’s corporate office provided the following response to the Terre Haute (Ind.) Tribune-Star:

“TGI Fridays respects a parent’s right to raise their child in a positive, healthy manner, free from unwarranted criticism. To that end, we fully support our guests in being able to breastfeed in our restaurants. It goes for this situation and all times a mom is breastfeeding her child.”

Loughlin writes for the Terre Haute (Ind.) Tribune Star.