Are you married? If so, the most important person in your world should be the one you made that marriage commitment with. They should trump any other outside source that enters your life. A good spouse will encourage you to be with the people you need to be around, but will help shield you from the people who cause you pain on a consistent basis.

Growing up, I always knew that my parent’s love for each other was strong.

When we were younger, my siblings and I would mess with my dad by asking him things like, “If we and mom were on a ship and you could only save one of us, who would you save?” His response was perfect, and as a parent and wife now, I realize how much guts it took to say it. He would always reply, “I’d save your mom, we can have more kids.” Of course we knew he would risk his life in a heartbeat to save us, no matter what the circumstances were. We also knew that his and mom’s relationship was number one on the boards and we were a very close second.

I’ve heard it said many times through the years, but I still believe that one of the best thing that parents can show their kids is how to love. You show them love by how you treat your spouse. They will learn the love of a parent and child through their dealings with you, but they will learn about chosen love by watching you with your spouse.

I realize that many parents are divorced, as I am. But we still have a responsibility to show our children how to love their future spouses. The best thing I can do for our girls is to show them that I love my husband more than anything in this world and that I love them too. This love isn’t always easy and they see that.

Children know when mommy and daddy aren’t on the same page. They pick up every time mom cuts her eyes at dad, and every time dad sighs at mom’s requests. They are smarter than you probably give them credit.

So be sure that your relationship is showing your children how to love and respect their own spouses one day.

Mom, how would you feel about your son’s wife treating him the way you treat his father every night? If that made you lower your head a little, then it’s time to make some significant changes in the way you present marriage to your son.

Dad, how would you feel about your daughter’s husband talking about her the way you talk about her mother when she isn’t around? Do you degrade your wife or do you lift her up? Your daughters are watching and they hear you even when you don’t know those little ears are around.

Are you being honorable in your marriage? You can say that no one can judge you, but whether you like it or not, your children are judging you all of the time and, in their eyes, you hung the moon.

So when you are careless with your spouse, you are teaching them that the marriage and family are unimportant.

When I think about how I want my daughters to treat their husbands one day, it reminds me of how I need to be treating my husband today. And when I think of how I want their husbands to treat them, I just look and smile at my husband. I am so pleased when he is treating me with respect and love in front of our girls.

It is just another way that we are planting seeds in our children’s lives. Good or bad, the way you treat your spouse will rub off on your kids. It may make them never want to be married and it may make them think that they will never be a bad husband or wife like their dad or mom.

Or it may just spark something inside of them that says, “I want a love like that.” They will see you go through hard times, and they will realize when you choose your love over your feelings and emotions. They will see your commitment through the years and they will eventually want the warmth of a good home life for themselves.

Mom and Dad, be an example to your children of what a good husband and wife are. They are watching you, and you are molding parts of their future by your actions and love.