Commentary by Adam Smith

The North Jefferson News



Advertising, whether solicited or not, is a pretty powerful medium.

It’s also been said that imagination is a powerful deceiver.

Perhaps a friend or family member has told you about a wonderful new restaurant in town. Perhaps they make it sound as though each dish will be the best thing you’ve ever had in your life. And when you finally go to said restaurant, the food is crappy and the service stinks.

Or perhaps you’ve found your dream home or car and it looks great in the picture, but when you see it for yourself, well … it’s quite the opposite.

People like P.T. Barnum and David Copperfield spent years perfecting the grand illusion. Perhaps I’m cynical, but I’ve found that it’s easier to let myself believe that most experiences will be quite terrible as to not be let down. It’s a terrible trap that will probably one day lead to many years of psychotherapy.

That being said, I recently got duped and severely disappointed. My girlfriend Lensey recently graduated from the University of Alabama, so I decided to take her to the beach for a weekend as her gift. I was proud of myself because I made the accommodations on my own, using one of those Internet discount sites that Captain Kirk of Star Trek plugs nationally. Yes, I should have known better.

The hotel looked nice enough and claimed to be on the beach. The pictures of the interior and the rooms also looked pleasant enough. The site claimed our room would have a balcony that overlooked the ocean. The swimming pool looked large, clean and also supposedly had an ocean view. The hotel seemed to be a steal, for the price. I was briefly proud of myself for making such first-class accommodations.

When we actually arrived, it was a different story. When I popped the plastic card into the door lock, I expected to find the luxurious room in the photos. In actuality, if I had been twirling a yo-yo, I could have hit the opposite side of the room with it. I’m still not sure how they were able to cram two full-size beds into such a small space.

After taking only a few seconds to digest the entire room, I decided to check out the balcony, if you could call it that. I opened up the sliding glass door and realized it was more of a stoop, not a balcony. One person could almost comfortably stand there. And, true to the hotel brochure on the Web site, I could see part of the ocean.

It was then that I looked down and scoped out the pool, which appeared to be large enough to accommodate an obese family of four, or an anorexic family of six. There was, in fact, an incredibly large man in a small bathing suit sitting on a lounge chair with his head tilted up while his right hand lowered a piece of pizza into his waiting jowls.

It was at that time I heard Lensey say, “Oh no. There’s no bathroom door.” I went over to investigate the situation and found it had a sliding bathroom door, not the traditional kind that every other bathroom has. Better yet, it was a sliding bathroom door that wouldn’t close all the way shut.

I immediately started making apologies for the room, but Lensey was a good sport about it. After all, it was our plan to spend our time doing beachy, touristy things.

However, I still feel somewhat burned by false advertising. It certainly taught me that all that glitters is certainly not gold.

In the future, I’ll do more investigating before booking any travel reservations. I’ll certainly think twice before dealing with Captain Kirk again.