In the cases of Alabama offensive tackle Andre Smith and potential Alabama governor Charles Barkley, one is dumb and the other is dumber.

The only question is, which is which?

Let’s parse through these two recent wanderings into the world of stupidity.

Dummy No. 1 — Andre Smith: To be fair, no one aside from Smith and the hierarchy of the Crimson Tide know for sure whether or not the player himself is to blame in this case.

No one at the Capstone is saying anything on the record; the university won’t even confirm the nature of the misdeed that supposedly took place.

But plenty of anonymous tongues are wagging, and the cause of Smith’s suspension is apparently improper contact with a sports agent, either by Smith personally or by someone connected to him. Unless the Outland Trophy winner announces to the world the details on his own, there’s a good chance we’ll never know the whole story.

Let’s get this straight: Sports agents, by and large, are scum. Finding an honest, reputable agent is akin to finding Lindsay Lohan in a convent.

Be that as it may, it’s still against NCAA regulations for a student-athlete to deal with an agent while he or she is still playing. Do it and you’re ineligible. That’s a hard-and-fast rule that every coach should drill into every player, and every player should drill into his family and friends.

The good news is that the damage will probably be minimal. Smith missed last night’s Sugar Bowl, and the only real impact was to move the point spread a bit and give folks like me something to talk about. The game itself was little affected (I say this a few hours before kickoff, knowing the end result could make me look like a moron by the time you read this). [Editor’s note: The game is now over as you read this on our website, and I look like a moron. Smith’s absence did indeed affect the outcome of the game.] Smith will still go early in the NFL Draft and make a boatload of moolah. As it should be.

Dummy No. 2 — Charles Barkley: Ah, the gift that keeps on giving to sports writers everywhere. Just when I thought I had given Sir Charles enough ink for a while, along comes a little incident in Arizona.

Barkley ran through a stop sign while driving late through Scottsdale, and was pulled over by a policeman working a drunk-driving watch. Barkley had bloodshot eyes and the smell of booze on his breath.

He failed a field sobriety test, then refused a breathalyzer test and had a blood sample taken instead. The police charged him with DUI. As I write, the blood-alcohol test results aren’t in yet, so we still have to do the innocent-until-proven-guilty thing.

By the way, Barkley was in a hurry. He was picking up a female companion, about whose abilities in certain, uh, “acts” she was very proficient, according to Charles. I’m really having to tiptoe around the nature of this “act,” being a family newspaper and all, but here’s a hint: Monica Lewinsky. Remember her? Yep, that’s the act. (The police report is online at www.thesmokinggun.com, which is as perfect a website name as one could imagine for this incident.)

It’s one thing for a casino to call in outstanding markers on Barkley, as happened not long ago. It’s dumb, but not illegal. But driving drunk is another thing altogether. It’s both dumb and illegal, and it endangers the lives and well being of others. Doing it while acting like a Bill Clinton wannabe is even worse.

We can put up with running off at the mouth and playing the race card and all the other verbal foolishness. But for someone who aspires to run this state, this isn’t cool.

Smith was merely dumb.

Barkley was dumber and dumberer.

Robert Carter is the sports editor of The North Jefferson News.