Editor’s note: The Times sent reporter Patrick McCreless to the annual Cullman County Fair to critique the variety of cuisine. Here are his recommendations.

By Patrick McCreless

PATRICKM@CULLMANTIMES.COM

I looked down at what I ordered minutes earlier, wondering what I had gotten myself into. Techno music blared behind me with an unrelenting fury.

I considered the sounds bombarding my ears as a warning to leave while I still had the chance — but chose to ignore it. Yes, I did want to leave, but I had a job to do. So instead I manned up and took a bite, prepared to accept any consequences.

Hmm … not bad.

For years, I have always been wary of carnival or in this case, county fair food of any kind. It is not as though I have any past experiences to back up my trepidation over such food, but you never know.

Well, I know now and am happy to report that the food I did sample at the Cullman County Fair Monday was for the most part, very satisfying.

I decided early on that I wouldn’t bother with the more standard fair eatables, such as corn dogs and pizza. Instead, I chose to go for the most exotic thing I could find, which turned out to be Italian sausage.

At first, I had wanted to sample a gyro, which I was told usually accompanied the Cullman fair each year. Gyros were nowhere to be found this year, but the sausage more than made up for my disappointment.

I had the option of adding onions and peppers to the freshly-cooked sausage, which I gladly accepted. The whole thing was served on a fresh french roll. I added a side of french fries, making the total cost of the meal $9.

A little pricey, but expensive food is kind of a given at any theme park or fair.

The sausage was delicious. It wasn’t too spicy and had plenty of flavor. I’d recommend it for any hungry individual at the fair.

I do not recommend eating it right before you jump on any of the rides, however. The sausage was very heavy, which means anyone without a cast-iron stomach may end up losing about $6 worth of food if they get on a ride too soon.

The fries were also fresh and flavorful, although they had very little salt, which is a must for me.

For a beverage, I went straight for the Super Slush Lab, a booth where anyone can make their own slushy. At $3 for a small cup, the slushy was hardly the cheapest drink to buy, but the price was offset by the ability to mix and match up to 12 flavors. I went a little conservative and picked just two of my favorite flavors — orange and strawberry.

The slushy is a must for anyone who likes variety or intense sugar rushes.

For desert, I bought a $6 funnel cake. I had the option of adding various fruit toppings, such as cherries and apples — but at $1 a topping, I thought that was a bit much. The powdered sugar was more than enough.

It’s hard to describe how good the light and fluffy funnel cake was to my tastebuds. Basically, it tasted like Christmas morning — if by some wonder of modern science, you could condense the happy and exciting feelings associated with Christmas morning into a flavor.

A word of warning however, for anyone wearing a shirt and tie like myself or simply dark-colored clothing. Be sure to stand downwind when eating the funnel cake or else brace yourself for a coating of white powder.

Though I was pretty full after the funnel cake, I could not resist purchasing a caramel apple. I have been a sucker for the treats for as long as I can remember.

For an excellent caramel apple, I suggest you stop by the Lioness Club concession stand. There you will find homemade caramel, Granny Smith apples, with or without nuts, for a very reasonable price.

It was the perfect ending to a great night of food.