Commentary By Melanie Patterson

The North Jefferson News



I think we often underestimate the value of good friends.

Maybe that’s because some friends turn out to be not so good.

But let’s not talk about them — let’s talk about good ones.

I’ve had some really, really great friends. Some of them are still in my life. Some are not.

Many of the good friends I’ve had are the complete opposite of myself — loud and boisterous, very funny and outgoing.

One that comes to mind is my friend Melanie. When we were in Bosnia together with the Army Reserve, we both had nicknames so people didn’t get us confused.

Not that they actually could, because the only thing we had in common was our first names. Her nickname was Big Sarge, thanks to her 6-foot frame. And mine was Little Sarge, thanks to the fact that I’m 5-foot-4.

She was definitely the life of the party. When she was around, there was laughter, joking and nothing but fun — even in Bosnia.

We celebrated Easter 1999 by shaving the head of one of our fellow soldiers, John. Big Sarge started the process, but first she left her mark by shaving a big BS — for Big Sarge, of course — on the back of his head.

Shaving someone’s head bald might seem like a strange thing, but somehow it seemed like a perfectly normal thing to do with Big Sarge in the room. She’s just one of those people. She brings out laughter in me like few people can.

I haven’t seen her in three or four years, but the next time we get together it will be as if no time has passed. It’s always like that, because we’re that close.

Some of my other good friends are more reserved.

Take Jen. Jen has a personality more like mine. She loves to read, hike, do photography and travel.

Jen and I have a ton of fun, but it’s usually much more laid back than my fun with Big Sarge.

I can relax with Jen and spend a quiet day. We can go for a hike in the woods with very little talking. Or we can go to the library or a museum or a play … things that are soothing.

Jen and I talk about everything from the price of gas to the Islam faith to race relations. We’ve taken international trips together as well as one-day road trips.

So which is the better friend?

Well, there is no comparison. Neither is the better friend. They’re both incredible friends.

And it’s not because of their personalities or the things they enjoy.

People become good friends when you spend time with them and you learn to trust each other.

Good friends are absolutely priceless. People can either drag you down or lift you up.

Sometimes we know immediately which of those two things a person will do in our lives, and at other times it takes awhile.

There are plenty of times that I thought I had a friend, but ended up getting hurt. That’s just part of life. We learn from it and move on.

But there is always that handful of priceless people that you know will stand beside you no matter what.

Those people are to be treasured.